12 Lessons You Learn or Regret Forever by Dr. Travis Bradberry

 

Do you have your own business or are you thinking of creating one? Travis Bradberry, Ph.D., gives you 12 tips in this article, lessons he learned the hard way. Here are a couple: self-confidence comes first; squash your negative self-talk; focus on being productive rather that busy; don’t say yes unless you really want to. Find out the others in the article…

12 Lessons You Learn or Regret Forever by Dr. Travis Bradberry

 

Self-Control is an Impactful Aspect of Positive Leadership. How Can You Strengthen Your Self-Control?

 

Research has shown that self-control is a resource you tap into and needs to be regularly replenished. Low self-control of leaders creates more unethical behaviour and reduces job productivity. Here are 3 tips to replenish your self-control resources:

 

 

1)    Getting good quality sleep and being able to nap or relax when working long hours

2)    Too much “Service with a smile” becomes counter productive. It works better to be genuinely empathetic as that way you do not use up your self-control resources

3)    Create a positive ethical company culture

Self-Control is an Impactful Aspect of Positive Leadership. Find 3 Tips to Amplify Your Self-Control

Five Principles of Positive Psychology by Sue Langley

Sue Langley, creator of the world’s first government accredited Diploma of Positive Psychology and Wellbeing, summarizes Positive Psychology through 5 key principles:

1)    Abundance – using the abundance lens helps people to thrive

2)    Virtues and strengths – building on strengths and how to develop them further can only make us flourish

3)    Positive deviance – we should strive to reprogram our instinctive human negative bias and focus on the positive

4)    Flourishing and languishing – as they are not opposites, people should work on both these points at the same time

5)    Happiness and wellbeing – there are 5 main factors to develop known as PERMA: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishment.

Five Principles of Positive Psychology by Sue Langley

Making Friends and Meaningful Relationships in Paris

Does it help you to know in your loneliness you are not alone? Expatriate life can be a lonely life. It takes time to meet people, it takes time to grow meaningful relationships sometimes a whole lot of loneliness to find people you relate to and that you can share the ups and downs of expatriate life with. We are after all relational beings with a need to feel connected and to share our experiences.

The story goes like this, you have arrived in Paris, you hit the streets and walk for miles in wonder and awe. Then the reality of this new life hits you. You don’t have any friends and no-one to share and discover these new experiences. Life becomes a chore. Your mood begins to sink to the lower end of the happiness scale.  Even more sort after, you long for the joy of meaningful friendships.

From here you join every social group you can find, finding plentiful people somewhat like yourself, living in a city new or old and in need of companionship.

With acquaintances in abundance there remains a nagging desire for more meaningful friendships. Like the friends you share everyday life and delights with, the new activity you have decided to take up, the new shoes you saw yesterday when walking home from work, the coffees, dreams and challenges shared. Those friendships you can call on when times are tough and you need the listening ear of someone trusted and dependable.

It is possible that luck is on your side and those valued, trusted friends arrive at your doorstep very quickly. However it is more likely that friendships take some months or even years to find, develop and strengthen into meaningful relationships.

Ultimately, remember this life of making new friends means you come into contact with a wide range of people you may never have had the opportunity to meet before. It’s a great opportunity to learn more about yourself and others and you never know what lies ahead – so savour all your experience as a blessing.

Here are a few pointers to help you on your new friendship journey.

  1. Maintain regular contact with family and friends at home, they are your lifeline.
  2. Seek and build relationships both with your partner and separately.
  3. Be prepared to make friends and then make more, over and over again. Have a couple of introductory phrases prepared and be ready to ask lots of questions.
  4. Early in your arrival, be courageous, join and attend  a sporting group and every social group you can find, even those activities you wouldn’t normal partake in. Life won’t come to you until you step into it. Making friends, particularly meaningful friends, is hard work and takes time.
  5. Participate in a volunteer position in a non-profit organisation. Learn a new skill. A French class is the obvious choice for Paris, but there are many other types of classes as well.
  6. Be sure to contact every lead from friends and acquaintances. Connect with native French people, Expats from your home country as well as Expats in general.
  7. Take it slowly, do not divulge too much too soon, but be yourself.
  8. Be open to different cultures, ages and lifestyles, you never know who you may meet.
  9. Accept that rejection is part of the process. Lick your wounds and continue your friend finding journey.
  10. If you find you get along with someone, follow up with an email and suggest another outing.  Be aware of how you feel when you are interacting. If you are not comfortable or don’t like someone, don’t continue to connect.
  11. Spend time with people who reciprocate. Don’t put energy into someone that is not reciprocating, it takes up too much emotional energy.
  12. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed and seek the ever listening ear of a counsellor, to help you on your way.

Self-Care for Women

Womanhood, the challenge! Too often as women we find our lives determined by circumstance. Juggling the roles of partner, mum, daughter, and a myriad others, it is all too easy to lose sight of your needs, playfulness, creativity, aspirations and direction in amongst the demands of others.

The argument can women have it all, I wont venture into here. I will however, suggest it is up to women to create their personal pathways to a Flourishing life. Purposeful attention to personal actions of self-care improves wellbeing and promotes the wellbeing of significant others, through definition and action to goals both personal and family oriented goals, knowing and utilising strengths, harnessing learning to develop new strengths and a myriad of other positive psychological tools. Additionally the follow on affect is the potential to positively influence the wellbeing of those significant relationships held dear; our husband, wife, partner, children, extended family and friends. I would suggest there is the potential to positively influence and effect relationships with colleagues.

What action have you taken today to enhance your wellbeing? How do you see that manifesting in your relationships and your balance of caring and supporting others and yourself? Is this manifestation in accordance with your values and personal life vision?